You’re not the only one who has had the same fight over and over again. When couples fight over and over again and can’t seem to find a way to communicate better or avoid conflict altogether, they often start looking for affordable couples counselling.
At Rosen Couples Counselling, Vitali Rosen works with couples and individuals who feel caught in these cycles. Vitali Rosen is a Registered Psychotherapist and a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, with specialized training in relationship dynamics and emotional patterns. Many of the people he works with care deeply about their relationship, yet no matter how the conversation starts, it seems to end in the same frustration, distance, or shutdown. Understanding why couples get stuck is often the first step toward lasting change.
It’s Rarely About the Topic You’re Fighting Over
Couples often believe their repeated arguments are about surface issues: household responsibilities, finances, intimacy, parenting, time together, or differing priorities. While these topics matter, they are usually not the real problem.
In practice, they function as triggers that activate a deeper interactional pattern between partners. One person may push for discussion, reassurance, or change, while the other withdraws, becomes defensive, or shuts down. Each reaction unintentionally fuels the other, creating a predictable cycle that repeats itself regardless of the topic.
As a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, Vitali helps couples recognize these patterns not to assign blame, but to understand how both partners are participating in a cycle that neither of them truly wants.
The Role of Unmet Emotional Needs
Underneath recurring conflict, there are almost always unspoken emotional needs. Beneath anger or frustration, partners may be experiencing fear of rejection, loneliness, disappointment, or a longing to feel understood and valued.
When these emotions aren’t expressed clearly or are met with defensiveness or withdrawal, they tend to come out sideways as criticism, sarcasm, or an emotional shutdown. Over time, partners stop feeling safe enough to be vulnerable, and the relationship becomes more about self-protection than connection.
This is often the point when people start searching for affordable couples counselling, sensing that something deeper is happening but not knowing how to address it without making things worse.
Why “Just Talking It Out” Often Doesn’t Work
Many couples are surprised to learn that talking more doesn’t always lead to resolution. In fact, without guidance, it can intensify conflict.
When couples are caught in a negative cycle, conversations move quickly, emotions escalate, and each partner focuses on defending their position rather than understanding the other. Even well-intentioned attempts at communication can reinforce the same pattern.
In his work as a Registered Psychotherapist, Vitali focuses less on who is right and more on:
- Identifying the negative interaction cycle that both partners are caught in
- Slowing conversations so emotions can be recognized and regulated
- Helping each partner communicate in ways the other can actually hear
- Creating emotional safety so repair becomes possible.
The goal isn’t to eliminate conflict; conflict is a regular part of relationships, but to transform how couples experience and respond to it.
When One Partner Is Read,y and the Other Isn’t
One partner may not be ready or unsure about therapy, which is a common reason couples counselling doesn’t work. The partner who wants to work things out may feel stuck, useless, or alone.
Rosen Couples Counselling handles this circumstance with care and without putting any pressure on anyone. Couples counselling doesn’t require both spouses to be fully engaged from the start. In many cases, real change can start when only one person understands the patterns in the relationship.
This flexibility is invaluable for people who want to get affordable couples counselling but are worried that therapy won’t work unless both parties agree right away.
The Discovery Meeting: A Thoughtful First Step
To support couples and individuals who aren’t sure what the next step should be, Vitali offers a Discovery Meeting.
For a fee of $120, this no-commitment session provides a safe, professional space to explore what is really going on without pressure to begin couples counselling. You can attend together as a couple or individually.
During the Discovery Meeting, Vitali works with you to:
- Clarify what a realistic and meaningful objective would look like
- Explain how couples counselling actually works.
- Identify patterns or issues that may be blocking forward movement.
- Decide together whether couples counselling is the right fit right now, or whether other options may better support your situation.
Many people find that even one Discovery Meeting brings clarity, relief, and a renewed sense of direction, especially after months or years of feeling stuck.
Moving Away From Blame and Toward Understanding
One of the most essential changes that couples make in counselling is to stop blaming each other. When partners fight a lot, they typically think that the other person is the problem. This idea destroys trust and goodwill over time.
Vitali’s method stresses figuring out the relationship pattern instead of blaming one person for the problem. This point of view helps couples work together to break the cycle instead of fighting with each other.
As a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, Vitali uses a systemic therapy approach. He understands that problems in relationships are caused by things like past experiences, attachment styles, stress, and changes in life, not by personal failing.
Change Is Possible, Even When It Feels Hard to Imagine
Couples don’t get stuck because they are weak, incompatible, or failing. They get stuck because patterns become automatic, especially during stress, exhaustion, or emotional pain.
With the proper support, these patterns can be slowed, understood, and changed. Couples often discover that once they feel emotionally safer, conversations that once led to arguments become manageable and even enjoyable.
If you’ve been searching for affordable couples counselling, Rosen Couples Counselling offers a calm, thoughtful, and low-pressure way to begin exploring what’s possible.
