It is very common that people start thinking of comebacks to what their partner is saying rather than paying attention. When it is your turn to listen, do listen! I mean it, do not think about what you are going to say next! Just try to really understand their point. When he/she is finished summarize their main points. This gives your partner a clear indication that you have in fact listened. At the end you can also ask “Do I understand your points correctly?” This gives your partner a chance to add something in case you missed it or elaborate more on what they said. More often than not your partner will be grateful and will return the favor by listening to you. You will be pleasantly surprised that by following these relatively simple steps most of your fights will dissolve themselves. If not, then the fifth step is necessary.